Learning to Love ALL of Me

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How many of you have things that you don’t love about yourself?

I used to believe that there truly were certain parts of me that were off-limits to love.  I judged those parts of me so much that I felt they weren’t worthy or deserving of love.  I was ok with some parts of me, but those OTHER parts, the ugly ones, the ones I wanted to hide, that I hoped no one would find out about…THOSE were the parts that I thought didn’t deserve to be loved.

Then I finally realized that just because I may not LIKE something about myself, that it doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to LOVE those things.  I can want something to change or be different, but that doesn’t mean I should condemn or judge or hate or direct negative thoughts towards those parts of me.  Because they are still deserving of my own love.

I was teaching this concept to a client the other day who was having trouble understanding it , and I asked if he ever got really upset with his kids because they did something he didn’t like…

He said “Yeah, they do things that I don’t like all the time…”

So I asked him  “Does that mean you LOVE them any less?  Your kid did something you didn’t like, or you wished there were something a little different about them or their behavior, but does that mean you’re going to judge the shit out of them and stop loving them?”

“No, absolutely not” he said.

“Then how come you do it with yourself?” I asked.

Just like we would love our kids even if we didn’t like something they did, the same concept applies to me (and you).

You know what?  I’m not perfect. There are things about myself that I do wish were different.  And I spent way too long trying to pretend I was perfect; or better said, I spent too long hiding the parts I didn’t want people to see.  And I judged and condemned the parts of me I didn’t like.

But now I’ve given myself permission to love ALL of me.  I know now that every part of me is worthy of love, as is every part of you.  I’m not going to just cherry pick the pieces I like, and hate the rest.  I’ll just love them and work on changing them if they’re not serving me.

Because ALL of me is worthy of my own love.

Every thought I’ve had, everything I’ve ever said, every behavior I’ve ever done.  I don’t have to like it, but I also don’t have to continue to put any more energy into not accepting it.  Instead I can work on changing it or forgiving myself for it, as I give myself permission to love it.

Are there any parts of yourself that you don’t give yourself permission to love

If so, I invite you to run an experiment for the next week, and just send some appreciation and love to some of those parts you don’t like.  We all have them.  See if you can start to understand the difference between Like and Love.  And then take that Love and direct it inward.

And if you’re ready to start shifting the things in your life you want to change, sign up for a complimentary coaching session with me.  Let’s work together and build a future that makes you excited!

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